Friday 29 January 2010

Spam Bam....No thank you, Ma'am...

I just checked my e-mail to see if I got some mail that mattered and this is what I read—a forwarded e-mail titled "The Truth".

I usually give such humbug a pass, but for some weird reason I opened it and now I think I’d rather have gulped an entire bottle of caster oil mixed with raw egg yolk!

This is what the mail said:

THE TRUTH

Find a guy…who calls you beautiful instead of hot...who calls you back when you hang up on him…who will stay awake just to watch you sleep

Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead…who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats…who holds your hand in front of his friends…who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you…who turns to his friends and says, “That's her!!”

If you have a lot of love for someone, copy and send this to your whole list. In 5 minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. Something good will happen to you at approx. 1:42pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.

Send this to 15 people in 15 minutes to carry on the chain...and spare yourself the emotional stress.

OMG!!!! I can't believe that people still forward spam like this. I think the guys at MSN, Yahoo and Google should get together and send out a search party to find such humbug-forwarding loners and confiscate all their computers.

Anyway, the e-mail didn’t bug me as much as what it said did! So, here it is again…my two pence worth coming at 140kmph:

  1. Who wants a guy “who calls you back when you hang up on him”! I mean the whole hanging up happened because you didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Imagine being nagged by someone you are mad enough to hang up on! Blah.
  2. And a guy who will “say awake just to watch you sleep”? That’s just plain creepy. You wake up at night and two eyes are staring at you in the dark! I’m okay with just the All-seeing Eye looking at me for now. Thank you very much.
  3. Whoever wrote this e-mail knows zilch about women. Which woman wants to be “shown off” to the world when in her sweats? That’s as far from romantic as the east is from the west!
  4. Then…a guy who “holds your hand in front of his friends”??? How uncomfortable is that? It’s like being on a leash.

“I can take you to meet my friends, honey, but you can’t stray away!”

“Sit!”

“Roll over!”

“Good girl! Here’s a bone!”

  1. This next one really kills me! A guy who turns to his friends and says, “That's her!!”??? What? What if you’re a petty thief and his friend happens to be the cop looking for you? He’d just give you away like that? “That’s her! That’s her, officer! She’s the one you’re looking for!” Who wants a give-away like that? Not me!
  2. The last bit of this mail amazed me. It’s what I call a prophetic paradox: “Something good will happen to you at approx. 1:42pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.”

It promises that something good will happen to you, but then it also says that it could be anywhere! What!!!?

Then, it specifies an exact time…1:42pm…but also tells you that it is approximate. An approximate precision! Wah!

After reading this e-mail, I don’t really know what to fear more — that something bad might happen to me given that I didn’t bother forwarding this e-mail or that the kind of guy mentioned in this e-mail might actually exist!

Saturday 23 January 2010

Weight a minute!

I was at Santacruz Station this evening and spotted one of those old-fashioned weighing machines with the flashing lights and the rotating circle in the middle. Since, I was just with my brother and a close friend, I thought it was safe to check how much I weighed.

I stood on the metal platform, waited for the rotating red and white circle to stop rotating, popped in a one rupee coin, and a few seconds later, I had a little brown rectangular card telling me my weight - 58 kgs.

I know I've broken the age old feminine code of not sharing your real weight in public — but, quite honestly, I really don't care. I hope I won't be ostracized for this act, but ladies...it's time we're honest with ourselves and the world!

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. I wanted to note how much the little brown card with my weight on it amused me! It displayed my weight on one side and on the other side, this was written in small black characters: "YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS IN LOVE MATTER AND MARRIAGE RELATION."

What? The machine was trying to tell me what will happen to me! Weight and "fortune" telling machine. I didn't buy a word of it, but still, it amused me.

Whoever invented that machine thought, "Women are going to be the ones using this the most, and let's face it — they're not going to be happy with their weight — even if it's negligible! So, let's have a random fortune message print out on the other side of this card, so that they don't feel so bad about themselves. A little solace. Some random statement that's a positive assumption to make them believe that good can happen despite how heavy they are!"

Hmmm... They decided to pass on using an editor for their little fortune statements, too! I will find happiness in "love matter" and "marriage relation"??????? OMG! Reading that sentence made me want to put out all those flashing lights one by one with a little rock hammer!

What's the whole point of fortune telling anyway??? Why, why, why??? Not just this machine, every one is trying to tell you what will happen to you...the newspapers have columns for fortune telling money-makers, the TV channels have slots for them...the list is never-ending...why????

Me...I'm just glad knowing that I weigh two kilos lesser than last month and I don't really want to think about tomorrow or next month. God holds my future in His hands...that's all I need to know for now! :)

Friday 22 January 2010

Indo-Pak Peace Project...Ahem!

I've never written anything in my blog this early in the morning, so you can imagine how badly I want to let this out.

So, there I was this morning...going about the mundane, getting ready to go to work, while dad was watching the news on TV. Just then, there was a commercial break and I happened to watch this "Aman ki Asha" Indo-Pak Peace Project advertisement. I'm sure you've watched it.

There's this old Pakistani man who, quite honestly, looks like Dumbledore from the Potter series...and he's across the LOC in Pakistan. He, somehow, has a radio with him and is alone on that side of the border.

On the other side i.e. the Indian side of the LOC, there are loads of Indians who are also mostly OLD people. I never knew they only had old people live by the border!!! Anyway, Dumbledore wants Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayengey played on the radio and for some reason there is no phone in the Pak side or he doesn't know the phone number to the radio station or something like that, and so he decides to play Dumd Charades with the Indians.

He enacts the phrase Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayengey and Indians figure it out. They call AIR and tell them to play that song. Needless to say, the RJ stops everything else she is doing and plays the song for Dumbledore. He hears the song over the radio (and believe it or not..the reception was perfect). He dances in a quirky way and all the Indians are happy, hug each other and dance. All are happy and the ad ends with these words on screen: "Aman Ki Asha" - An Indo-Pak Peace Project.

BLAH! That's what it is. How is that ad a "peace project"???? OMG. I wanted crawl up my window and jump off the building. That's what they call a "peace project"??? They're trying to tell me that an AIR RJ playing requests for an old Pakistani is going to bring peace across the border. HOW?? I pray, please tell me...HOW??? Is the old man going to listen to a Karan Johar movie song and then suddenly think, "We don't need all of Kashmir! Let's come to an agreement! Let's compromise! I must pass the word around!"

OMG!!!! And the height of unbelievable-ness (I made this word up just now!), is that after the ad, we were back to listening to the news where a very plain looking news reporter whose face was amply packed with foundation was ranting about the IPL auctions where Pak players were given the silent treatment!

HERE IT COMES NOW - My two pence worth...
I'll tell you what AMAN KI ASHA can do if they really want to start an Indo-Pak Peace Project — They can make a fuss about the IPL auctions that have gone so wrong and make sure the Pak players are given a shot! I know this sounds like humbug, coming from someone who knows zilch about cricket, but it's really what I think. SOMEONE TAKE THE GOOD PAK PLAYERS...whoever they are! Pay for them! Take 'em! They're good, I'm sure.

And then, even when this Ekta Kapoor soap drama that they call the IPL is over, there'll still be some good feelings left across the border. Humph!

Okay, I'm done....going to work now! What a start to a day! :D

Wednesday 20 January 2010

My Lamericks

They're lame but at least I tried.


There was a couple from Peru

He stammered and she did, too

When tying the knot

All were distraught

Since they didn’t get past “I do”


Did you hear about Bertha the baker?

Who eloped with the local wine maker?

Though his love was blind

He couldn’t help but find

That her walk was a noisy room shaker.


In the church, I saw Mr. Matthew

Whose vision, it’s known, is askew

We all looked to God

And it seemed so odd

That Matthew was looking at Mrs. Lou

Monday 18 January 2010

The Sushification of the world!

I know I've attempted dividing people into two types on this blog before; but I've decided to redo it.

All famous philosophers must divide people into two 'types', and so why not me?

Forget my previous two types. After much thought and careful reconsideration, I've decided that there are, in fact, just these two types of people:

1. Those who love sushi i.e. those who rock, and

2. Those who hate sushi i.e. those who are soon going to disappear from the face of the earth!

You don't have to agree with me, although I'm always right about things like this. It's just obvious that whoever invented sushi was one heaven of a genius. Whoever thought of yummy fish wrapped in rice and a leaf, ha? What a genius! What forward thinking, I say! So convenient, too!

Here in South India, we have to go through so much pain to eat fish and rice.

1. Place one mountain of rice on your plate.

2. Pour fish curry on the rice.

3. Mix the two together till the two become one (like in marriage).

4. Then make one big ball of rice and fish with your hand.

5. Now eat that ball.

6. Feel good.

7. Repeat the above several times.

8. Wash hands thoroughly.

A long, unwanted, painstaking process is what it is!

Now take Sushi, on the other hand. It is fish already wrapped in rice, and sometimes in a leaf, that you can buy in a take-away box. Here's how you eat it:

1. Open the box and eat the Sushi.

2. Feel good.

SIMPLE! I wish all things in life were as simple as Sushi. In fact, I think they should add sushi in the dictionary as a synonym for 'easy' or 'simple'. It could sound cool, too!

He: Hey, did you check my new phone?

She: Yeah, it's user friendly, man!

He: I know, so unbelievably sushi to navigate!

Wouldn't that make sense? I'm going to campaign for this to be added to the English dictionary outside the Oxford library or Merriam Webster's house, or wherever it is that they make dictionaries. I know some people will oppose this motion but they're the ones who hate sushi i.e. those who are soon going to be extinct.

Just to illustrate my point, I've made a list of things that are as unbelievable as not liking sushi. The chances that sushi haters will survive are as unlikely as the following:

  1. Obama saying something that's not politically correct.
  2. Indian hockey players being in any TV commercial.
  3. India TV reporting something that is actually news.
  4. Rajat Sharma not oiling his hair.
  5. Rakhi Sawant saying something that she actually means.
  6. Rakhi Sawant not saying anything for once.
  7. Karan Johar making a good film.
  8. Me watching cricket and enjoying it.
  9. Me watching any sport and enjoying it.
  10. You thinking that this blog is uninteresting (how impossible is that!).

I think you get the point! Sushi rocks and my theory is that those who don't like it will soon disappear. I call it the "Survival of the sushiest!"

Sunday 17 January 2010

Sentence Starters

I'm taking the liberty to add a few English words into a new category called "Sentence Starters" simply because they don't do anything more than that these days.

1. ACTUALLY
Actually, this word isn't used for what it means anymore. It's become an annoying sentence starter and some people overuse it so much it 'actually' makes me want to throttle them with my bare hands.

2. SO
So, this must surely be the most frequently used sentence starter EVER! It's also a creepy conversation starter. "So, you live around here?"..."Yes, and now that I know you do, I want to move to the other end of town!"

3. BASICALLY
Basically, this is more the sentence starter when you're answering a question. "What do you do then?"..."Basically, I'm an artist." Using 'basically' at the start of a sentence really messes it up, no? Makes you think there's more to what was just said, since what was just said was 'basic' stuff. "Basically, you're an artist, but what do you really do?"

Actually, I'm too bored to write anymore. :-(
So, I'm going to fly a kite now. :-)
Basically, it's what I do when I'm bored. :-|


Thursday 14 January 2010

Fire it up, baby!

So, I'm travelling in the first class compartment of a train this evening on my way back home, assuming that nothing stupid can happen that will make me want to whine about the Indian Railways on this blog again, right? Wrong!

Just when I made myself comfortable and sat me down, I looked up in relief and bang! There it was — a sign board that made me want to jump off the train!

Here's what it said:

FIRE SAFETY WARNING:

DO NOT THROW LIGHTED ARTICLES.
DO NOT CARRY EXPLOSIVE ARTICLES.
DO NOT CARRY INFLAMMABLE ARTICLES.
DO NOT LIGHT UP STOVE OR SIGRI.

OFFENDERS ARE PUNISHABLE WITH IMPRISONMENT UP TO TWO YEAR AND FINE UP TO RUPEES ONE THOUSAND.

HELP ALWAYS REACH YOU SAFELY.

1. "Throw lighted articles" where? In the train? Outside the train?
You see this line could be the most misleading IF we had law-abiding citizens travelling by train. Imagine a situation where by some quirk of fate, a poor law abiding Mumbaikar was handed a "lighted article" (a laxmi bomb or a lavangi srip) that he know is soon going to explode or cause damage within the train. His first instinct would be to throw the darn article out of the train but NO!!!!! The "rule" says "DO NOT". So, he will cling to it and DIE!!!

This rule angered me so much — not because the above might happen, but because they didn't think of the possibility that it might happen before making the rule. They didn't think anyone would even read it, let alone actually listening to it. That's the problem here! So many rules are made, assuming beforehand that they will be broken anyway! Sigh!

2. Do not carry "explosive" articles? What on earth?
If i'm a thieving, conniving, bomb-carrying terrorist who is planning to blow up the train, this sign will be the one thing that I must worry about! Oh no! What to do? I planned to bomb this train but the sign says "I can't!" What to do? What to do? I should've listened to Laden and taken up the London bomb routine instead. Oh no!

3. Do not carry "inflammable" articles? Uh...How?
Inflammable is anything that has the capacity of being set on fire. So, you're telling me not to carry my clothes, my bag, and most importantly, my hair??? What do they want us to do? Travel naked on the train without a bag, after we've shaved our heads clean? What if the TC comes? What do we show him then? Our passes or tickets? OH NO! WAIT! They're inflammable, too!!!!

4. Do not "light up stove or sigri"! This one really upset me!
I was planning a barbacue on the 08:26 Goregaon fast for all the familiar first class ladies, the group of 14-year old boys (who haven't reached puberty and travel in the ladies first class compartment for some reason) and of course, for the men selling earrings and hair clips.
BUT THEY HAD TO BAN THAT, TOO! You can never win, can you? Argggghhh!

5. What's worst is that if I break these rules, I'm not even sure how long I'll be imprisoned for — TWO YEAR!?!??
I think two IRS guys sat down one lazy afternoon to draft these rules. They had some thanda desi daru and chakna with them. After they got a little drunk, they couldn't agree on how many years to imprison offenders, and so they decided to settle it over a game of chess. They ended up check-mating each other simultaneously. That's when one of them said, "Chalo, let's compromise. You say two years. I say one year. Let's meet in the middle. Let's put "two year". How smart we are! Ha ha ha! Snort! Barf!"

5. The ending has to be the climax. Or anti-climax rather.
After they make you aware of the rules and tell you that you will be imprisoned or fined a 1,000 bucks for breaking them, they nicely add that "Help always reach you safely." Where? In prison? When I'm in prison for "two year", "help reach me safely"? What does that mean?

I think they were talking about help always reaching "safely" when there's a fire, since that was a fire warning. But, if that's the case then the word "safely" worries me. The help will reach me "safely"? You mean, the help will be "safe" but I may not? What if the train is on fire and I'm stuck inside? Help will not come, because it's not "safe" for them? OMG!

I wanted to set the train on fire after reading that notice, but I thought, "Nah! Some other day!"
I wasn't ready to be imprisoned for "two year".

:-|

Tuesday 12 January 2010

Sport terms we could do without!

My spite for watching sports isn't new, but posting this fact on my blog is. I know I'm going to get some hate mail for this, but I really don't mind anymore. I must let out the truth some time and the truth is this—I hate watching sports. Playing a sport makes sense to me since it helps in keeping you fit and all, but watching a bunch of sweaty guys keeping fit on TV and cheering for them while you stuff your face with food, isn't really happening! So, there it is finally!

I dislike watching sports as much as I do hearing some lame terms they use in sports "lingo". I hear some of these terms and wonder why they didn't hire a clever ad agency to think of more orginal names instead. Or simply, just hire me! Blah!

Anyways, here's some of the sport terms that I think are pointless and should be abolished forever along with the sport that they're associated with.

1. "Match point"
This Tennis term makes me want to change channels so quickly, you won't even have time to say "Stop!" It is said so often in the one tennis match that you want to jump off a building at the end of it! And the timing is even worse! They usually say "match point" when your precisely thinking what is the point of this match. What is worse is the tone in which they say it—this dry emotionless tone that sounds so neutral it is actually more irritating that the match itself. If they have to say it so often, they might as well get a radio jockey to do it with some sort of enthusiasm in her voice! "Match point" is why I don't watch tennis. Period.

2. No Ball
What on earth is a 'no ball'? Why would they even call it that? The bowler throws the ball at the batsman and if he messes up, it's a 'no ball'. What a load of rubbish! He just threw the ball, we all saw it, it has been recorded, there are a stadium full of witnesses to it but then the umpire will make some stupid sign and say it's a 'no' ball as if it never happened.
No ball. How pessimistic a term. Whoever came up with it was probably a depressed pessimist who always saw the glass half empty. He could have named that bowling miss a 'bowler's fowl' or what have you, but no!!!!! It must be some named some negative word that will insinuate negativity in the field and depress everyone! That's why I hate cricket. Who wants to hear terms like 'no' ball on a bright sunny day, when everything is going well?

3. Scrum
This word doesn't really annoy me as much as it makes me hungry. Scrum. I don't watch rugby and don't ever plan to, but I know what a scrum means. It's when the huge, sweaty rugby players come together and do a group headlock. I don't know and don't care why they do it, but they do it in every single match. What I don't understand is why they decided to call it a scrum. It sounds like the name of a classy, chilled cocktail drink. I'll have the lobster in garlic, pepper sauce and a scrum to go with it, please! Thank you.
Scrum is just a pointless sport term that is so unmanly, that I wonder why they use it in rugby - one of the supposedly manly games!
Someone reading this, please invent a cocktail with that name please - SCRUM! Yummmm

4. Dribble
I actually don't hate this basketball term. I only think it's misused thoroughly in commentaries. If the commentator is talking about the players' sweat drops dribbling all over the court, I can understand. But they usually use it when referring to the ball. That's what ruins it for me. Sweat can dribble, water can dribble, balls....I'm not sure!

I have a list of gazillion more sport terms I don't like but they're really not worth the time and effort to even write about. So, I'm going to leave it at this.

Writing this is been too emotional for me. I need a brown paper bag to barf in.

Saturday 9 January 2010

Biggest Faff of the Decade

So, here's it is! The 'Biggest Faff of the Decade' award has to be presented to someone and we've finally found the fitting winner (after 10 years of rigorous searching).

I bestowed on myself this honour of giving the award away and you'll agree that the initiative is good and the winner deserving!

But before we get to him (yes, its a 'him'...sorry, ladies!), I must let you know how I found this chap!

I was watching the news on TV yesterday and happened to see the grotesque hacking of a police man in Tamil Nadu. The cop was riding his bike on a main road, when some guys stopped him, used a butcher's knife to hack him down and left him bleeding by the road. With one of his legs missing, a ear hanging off his face, and lying in his own pool of blood; the cop was reaching out for help but didn't get any. A Samaritan story gone wrong! No one stopped. No one picked him up. And someone had the nerve to film the whole thing.

So, here's when I first came to know of one Mr. V K Subburaj, the state health secretary (and hopefully, soon to be the 'ex-health secretary').

He happened to pass by the bleeding cop, stopped, got down, took a nice look at him, got back in the car, sat there for a while and then took off to wherever he was headed towards. Probably some VIP meeting where he would talk about the 'importance of health in Tamil Nadu and how the government should invest more in it'. Anyways, he didn't even do as much as get someone else to help the cop and neither did anyone else. So the cop died.

But this isn't why he's getting the award. If he were to be selected for any award based merely on what happened till this stage, it would be the 'Having a Boulder for a Heart' award.

It's what happened next that made me realise he deserved this one more!!!

CNN IBN's newsreader interviewed Mr. Subburaj and asked him: "Why is it that there was enough time to capture a video but no one went to take the policeman to the hospital?"

Mr. Subburaj replied: "To transfer the person, we were waiting for the 108 ambulance to come because they would be able to provide the scientific attendance because the condition of the body was such. Carrying him in another vehicle wouldn’t have been scientific, it would have led to problems. Definitely, there was a delay in the vehicle."

Then the reporter asked him: "Why could you or the ministers not have taken the policeman in your car or the convoy cars? Couldn't that have saved his life?"

To this he said: "No, no! First you must see this is a bomb blast situation. Some unused bombs or mines were also said to be there. Then even the body was not in a condition for transportation. We called for the ambulance as carrying him in any other vehicle wouldn't help in the process."

Lastly, she gave up and asked him: "As the Health Secretary of the state, has seeing such an incident shaken you? What impact does it have on you as a person?"

He replied, very matter-of-factly: "No, I think in the given situation we have done our best, including other persons in the convoy, irrespective of the fact who was in that position same thing would have happened."

That was it! I heard that and thought to myself, "He's earned it! The Biggest Faff of the Decade award!"

So, here's giving it to him publicly...

The Biggest Faff of the Deacde award goes to.....(drum roll)....Mr. V. K. Subburaj for this quote:

"No, I think in the given situation we have done our best, including other persons in the convoy, irrespective of the fact who was in that position same thing would have happened."

Thank you very much, everyone! (bow and applause)

Wednesday 6 January 2010

Gyaan

So, here it is again - Gyaan from an extremely sleepy, thoroughly bored and intentionally starved humanoid!
Thrash it, if you must! But write I will!


Gyaan # 1: Don't put yourself out there all the time.
As in, don't let people always know what you want. Then, they will purposely, intentionally not give it to you and make you suffer! This also means, evaluate your risks. Will taking a risk, make you look stooopaid? If so, then take it! Who cares if you make a fool of yourself. If taking a risk doesn't make you look stooopaid, it's not even a risk ya! Move on!

Gyaan # 2: Play by your rules, not theirs!
This is translated to: Have some personal rules that you will not break. Then, don't make an exception for anyone, unless you're sure they're worth it. If you do make an exception and then realise it wasn't worth it, you'll feel soooooooooo compromised - it's unbelievable. Really. Really. Trust me.

Shucks, I'm on a roll!!!

Gyaan # 3: Let unstable people in your life, talk to your hand!
What this means in simple English is: If someone likes you for who you are, and in spite of who you are, they will tolerate anything you do. Almost anything. If something you do surprises someone 'out' of your life, they weren't meant to be there in the first place. They can talk to your hand when they're trying to come back! Yeah!

Gyaan # 4: Don't believe any random gyaan.
This means, you shouldn't believe (or pretend to believe) what anyone says just because you want to please them. For example, you don't have to 'like' this just because there's a 'like' button. You know what I mean? I mean take gyaan that really relates to you. The rest you can call 'humbug'.

I've just had some coffee now and the sleep has gone. Can't produce any more gupshup like this. That brings me to my last point.

Gyaan # 5: Coffee makes the world a better place to live in. It makes me irrationally idealistic and unreasonably hopeful. Amen.

:)

Monday 4 January 2010

Dear Mr. Chetan Bhagat...

Dear Mr. Bhagat,
I've not watched 3 Idiots, but I am planning on doing so tomorrow. I wanted to write this before I watch it though—without the knowledge of what the movie is like, what the plot is, what the jokes are...nothing! Nil! I'm as blank about the movie as the inside of the last cover of your books' paperback copies.

Anyway, my question is, Sir, with all due respect—Why the fricking hullabaloo? Why the drama and the press conferences and the show shiney?

Since you can't answer that question right away, I want to assume the reasons for your shenanigans.
Here are my reasons -
1. You want some "more" sales for your books i.e. more rokda. That was obvious but it had to be said. It isn't enough for you that at every fricking signal in Mumbai, there are children trying to make a living by selling paperback copies of your books. (They used to sell quality stuff before - like The Godfather, Paulo Coelho books, etc. but that has changed now!) So, obviously you wanted to make a buck or two more - especially since these signal fellows don't really work for you!
But, Mr. Bhagat, there are other ways to make money, na? Like you can try the lottery - it's just a suggestion ha!
2. You want to be famous. Like Paris Hilton. But you could've just appeared on some reality show for that na? Like Big Boss. Lot of the drama you've been wasting on press conferences for free, you can get paid for on Big Boss. Try them. They're good.
3. You genuinely feel your creativity has been copied. If, and that is a BIG FAT "IF", this is the reason why you're creating this drama, then the media ain't gonna help you! YEAH! You need to contact a copyright lawyer or something and get them to investigate this. You can do that in private and when it is established "by the law" that your work has been copied, you will get some "goooooooooood" publicity. Not the kind you're trying to get now. It's a little lame now. Needs crutches.

So, there goes! I said it all. Phew!

Now, let me watch the movie tomorrow. I don't really care if it's a rip off of your book, to be honest. I just want to watch the movie. The drama—leave it for the Big Screen. I hate watching it on News Hour when I want to watch real news! :(

Sorry but had to say this for the good of all who have been traumatized by your apparent "trauma" that isn't really tasteful.

Get a lawyer, if you must, but leave the public out of this na?

Thanks ha!

Much love,

Rebecca Leslie. :)

Friday 1 January 2010

New Year Shnew Year!

I'm fed up of clichéd New Year messages...rhymes that tell me to forget the past year and press on this year. E-mails that carry hope of change and text messages that suggest I will be different this year.

Don't get me wrong. I’m all for encouraging others and igniting change and all of it. Just one question – why not any time of the year! Why just today?

The truth is that nothing has changed in the last 24 hrs but the way I will write the date...! I still look the same, have the same friends, make the same amount of money and struggle with the same things I did yesterday!

Nothing can change me or my situation but “me”! I can hope and will as much as I want but I must “do” something to change anything in me or around me.

Change is a weird thing. You must want it enough for it to happen. The date can change, the seasons can change, the whole world can change and you will be still be the same old person, unless you decide otherwise.

So, I hate to break the New Year excitement (with which some of us may be making “resolutions”) but here’s the scoop - IF YOU HAVEN'T STUCK TO A DECISION DURING THE YEAR, IT AINT' HAPPENING NOW, BUDDY!

Drastic New Year resolutions are for the weak-willed! For those who hope that a new day, a new year can change who they are and help them be more than what they were last year! No no no! Sadly, there is hard work involved and all of it isn't usually necessary! There’s no need to be pressurised, you know? You don’t have to feel like you need to be something else or someone “better” just because it’s a New Year.

Take it easy, yaar! Be what you are! Change if you have to, but it’s okay to be who you are too!

I think everyone should just make one simple decision today (Like I have!). Not because it’s January 1st. Not because everyone is making one. But just because this one decision can really change your life – whatever time of the year it’s made!

Here it is –

“I'll do what I can to be what I want to be at a pace that I can manage! No hurry vurry! I’ll take time and I’ll get there aaram se. What isn’t good for me I’ll get rid of by and by but the rest of me is gooood…I’m okay with it. However I am, chalta hai! I'm like this only. People who love me for who I am, I’ll be close to! Rest all, bhaad main! God's not legalistic. I don’t want to be either!”