Dear Mr. Chetan Bhagat...

Dear Mr. Bhagat,
I've not watched 3 Idiots, but I am planning on doing so tomorrow. I wanted to write this before I watch it though—without the knowledge of what the movie is like, what the plot is, what the jokes are...nothing! Nil! I'm as blank about the movie as the inside of the last cover of your books' paperback copies.

Anyway, my question is, Sir, with all due respect—Why the fricking hullabaloo? Why the drama and the press conferences and the show shiney?

Since you can't answer that question right away, I want to assume the reasons for your shenanigans.
Here are my reasons -
1. You want some "more" sales for your books i.e. more rokda. That was obvious but it had to be said. It isn't enough for you that at every fricking signal in Mumbai, there are children trying to make a living by selling paperback copies of your books. (They used to sell quality stuff before - like The Godfather, Paulo Coelho books, etc. but that has changed now!) So, obviously you wanted to make a buck or two more - especially since these signal fellows don't really work for you!
But, Mr. Bhagat, there are other ways to make money, na? Like you can try the lottery - it's just a suggestion ha!
2. You want to be famous. Like Paris Hilton. But you could've just appeared on some reality show for that na? Like Big Boss. Lot of the drama you've been wasting on press conferences for free, you can get paid for on Big Boss. Try them. They're good.
3. You genuinely feel your creativity has been copied. If, and that is a BIG FAT "IF", this is the reason why you're creating this drama, then the media ain't gonna help you! YEAH! You need to contact a copyright lawyer or something and get them to investigate this. You can do that in private and when it is established "by the law" that your work has been copied, you will get some "goooooooooood" publicity. Not the kind you're trying to get now. It's a little lame now. Needs crutches.

So, there goes! I said it all. Phew!

Now, let me watch the movie tomorrow. I don't really care if it's a rip off of your book, to be honest. I just want to watch the movie. The drama—leave it for the Big Screen. I hate watching it on News Hour when I want to watch real news! :(

Sorry but had to say this for the good of all who have been traumatized by your apparent "trauma" that isn't really tasteful.

Get a lawyer, if you must, but leave the public out of this na?

Thanks ha!

Much love,

Rebecca Leslie. :)