Monday 16 November 2009

My Alien Encouter!

So, here's the deal. Since I must narrate everything unusual that happens to me on this boring blog to give it that slight face lift, here's the scoop of the weekend —I got attacked on Saturday but an alien. Really. No jokes.

I intend to share my paranormal experience only to reinstate my faith in the supernatural and the utterly unbelievable, of course.

So, I was walking down the aisle of a supermarket (of sorts) looking for a moisturiser for my face. A moisturiser. Just a moisturiser.

As I was strolling unassumingly, I was confronted all of a sudden by a woman who was wearing the biggest smile I've EVER seen, and who was wearing a white coat. She looked totally human but little did I know she was just the host body being used by the alien residing in her. Anyway, she offered to help me find just the thing I was looking for.

SHE KNEW WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR? I was, for a moment, surprised at her ability to "know" what I wanted without asking me.

I followed her to a counter where she said with the same plastic smile on: "Madam, try this new fairness cream on and it will really make you fair. Come let me show you." She pulled my hand and dropped a bit of white cream on the back on my palm and before I could protest, she started massaging it into my hand. She then lifted my hand and showed it to me saying: "See Madam, you can see how fair this portion has become. I think this is the best cream for you."

That's when I saw it! By "it" I mean the ALIEN! Behind that smile and that normal human body was a paranormal being that came from another universe where darkness was not to be. The alien was on a special assignment to Planet Earth to eradicate all dark people and had found home in this smiling little Olay fairness cream campaigner. Oh no! The horror of it. I hope this makes national news.

Anyway, my first reaction was horror but that quickly turned into anger and I suddenly felt my animal instincts show up. I wanted to curl my hand into a fist and see if it reached down that woman's throat to where the alien was! But my mum was with me and I saved the grand show for another day.

She persisted and suggested that I have a "tan" and must get some fairness cream but I just calmly informed her it's not a tan and my original skin colour (which I am happy with!)

I made it through Sunday (the day after the alien encounter) without a word about this. I was thinking about what to say or write but I've decided to call for war!

Here is my humble plea:

Dark skinned sisters and brothers, let's unite!
We will not be taken down by these aliens from Planet WTF (We're Totally Fair). Today, I declare war. Let us stand firm and not be exposed to their paranormal agenda. But in case we are, let's not give in without a stiff fight.

If you read this and agree with me, you will be launching the largest e-battle in this history of mankind. Mankind—that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps, its fate that today is the 16th of November, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution—but from bleachification.

We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, today will no longer be known as just another day, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive!" Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

Okay, I admit the last part of my extremely moving speech was borrowed from the movie "Independence Day" but you get my point na?

Fight and what not!

Chalo! XXX

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Good article Rebs.
First I thought, you really come across such non-existing alien or what :))

Keep writing.

Blind Dayze said...

it's reassuring to know that there are others who have had encounters with others from "other" places like Planet WTF!!!

cant help but comment.. good post.. me smiling ear to ear..

Becky said...

hehehe....hey thanks :) but they are pretty annoying - the WTFians! :)